(_rockin_) black & pink
(_mood_) uhm kinda sad
(_boppin head`sz to_) qasolina (_remixXx _)
(_verbalizin_) ant-honeyx33 davex33
well today was the saddest day ever. ii walked in to school thinkinq it was just another stupid monday and everyone was qonna tell me about their excitinq weekends, but this monday was a whole lot different. melindax33 walks up to me and qives me a huq like she does every other day, but not with that perky spirit she always had, but with a sad feelinq. deep down ii had a feelinq somethinq was wronq. she pulls me to the corner and whispers, "ii have to tell you somethinq". worried as ii was, ii thouqht somethinq had happened to dedirax33. ii quickly responded "is dedira ok? did somethinq happen". not thinkinq of my other friend's and their problems. melinda says, "no, it's ceciliax33".
of all the thinqs she said to me all ii heard was, "blayne shot himself...he committed suicide". ii refused to hear what melinda was tellinq me. how could he have shot himself when cecilia was not talkinq to him too lonq aqo on sunday niqht. ii quickly ran upstairs towards my locker and qot my books and rushed to 1st period. ii walked in to see cecilia with her head down on her desk. not wanting to pressure her into telling me what happened, we started our conversation like normal. after our quiz she turns around and looks me in the eyes and qoes "renee`...blayne is dead". silently tears started fallinq from her eyes and mines too. ii couldn't believe it was true. ii refused to believe it was true. every morninq all me and cecilia talked about was blayne now all we could do was cry when somone mentioned his name.  all ii could do was cry and help ceciliax33 feel better. ii couldn't make the pain qo away, ii just couldn't. just then all the memories of when devix33 died came back to me. the pain i've concealed for almost a year came back to me.
just then ii knew how ceciliax33 felt. there was no way ii could make the pain qo away because the pain of knowinq devix33 died never went away. i've just been hidinq the pain. a pain so stronq that can't be erased from my life. there are just some memories that time cannot erase. it`s crazy how life can take unexpected turns.
r.i.p. forever missed, but never forqotten devix33 & blayne33
zemax33 anthonyx33
l`anjie`l
(_edit_)
well xanqstusz it turns out blaynex33 didn't kill himself. thank fuqin qawd. nevin fuqin lied so he could take ceciliax33 away from blaynex33. ii don`t see how tha fuq somone could lie about serious shit like that.  damn fuqin kids. well just wanted everyone to know that blaynex33 is okie dokie. bye bye . m0owahsz! anthonyx33 zemax33
l`anjie`l | 
well let`s see ain`t shit been happeninq lately. thanksqivinq in new york was qreat. 
ii qot to spend all day on friday with my sweetheart33. ahhh! q0od times. 
today was also an interestinq day. well me and dedirax33 qot kicked out of 7th period for inappropriate behavior. even thouqh ii just think it`s because the teacher wanted an all white class today. but that`s just me. well we was chillin in the hallway talkinq and shit and today was the first day ii actually realized next year is my last year in hiqhschool, ohio and with my friends. 
we just sat there talkinq about all our memories from last year and all the lauqhs and tears we shared with each other. when ii first moved here ii hated it so much, but now it`s like ii don`t want to leave, but but...ii dunno. i`ve become so attatched . i`ve created many unforqettable memories here with my friends and my family.